• angenevin

The Soundtrack to My Life


I am getting to a place where I can begin to write about the last couple of years of my life. However, it is a very long and rambling story – extremely painful at times and involves a lot of hysterical laughter. But until such time as I can create a coherent flow of words to take you down that long and winding path, I will just give you a little teaser…


My life has a soundtrack…doesn’t everyone’s? I mean sure we all have songs that resonate with us in those dark and lonely moments? Or the ones that sing with our souls when the world opens up and the stars align? We have unguarded moments where we find ourselves humming a little tune, only to recognize that it somehow relates to the events we are experiencing.


Then there is the one that repeats over and over and over and over – like the needle stuck in a groove skipping back and forth endlessly. (If you are too young to get that reference, try googling “record player”. It’s a fascinating subject – I promise.)


Being a college student of the mid 80’s it is not surprising that my musical preferences run along with the likes of Rush, Police, Queen, Dire Straits, and the Eurythmics. Not to mention bands like Toto and The Clash. So it is appropriate that the soundtrack to my life comes from one of my favorites – Oingo Boingo.


To quote the last line: “I don’t know if it’s right or wrong to laugh at misfortune. Darkness can never last too long… When you laugh in its face.”


I give you the most appropriate lyrics that I could have ever imagined would sum up my life: Oingo Boingo’s Only Makes Me Laugh.


“Only Makes Me Laugh”

Oingo Boingo


I don’t know why I feel this way

I don’t know if it’s right or wrong

To laugh at misfortune

Darkness can never last too long

Every time I think I’m falling

And there’s nobody around to hold me up

And it seems like the world has come to an end

I look for miles, but not a face is friendly

Then suddenly, a hole opens up in the ground

The bottom of the hole is a raging fire

I try to jump over, but there’s no way

The next thing I know, I’m going down


Does it hurt?

Oh, it really doesn’t matter

Does it burn?

Oh, no, I don’t feel a thing

Does it sting?

Oh, yeah, it really doesn’t matter

Does it hurt?

Oh, I don’t give a damn


When I find myself falling and I hit the bottom

It only makes me laugh

Only makes me laugh

When I go down the hole and I hit the bottom


The last time that I fell in love

The love was milk and honey

But the milk turned sour

The woman became a monster

And everyone I knew had become a stranger

Then the room went black and my luck was spent

The floor opened up—down I went


Does it hurt?

Oh, it really doesn’t matter

Does it burn?

Oh, no, I don’t feel a thing

Does it sting?

Oh, yeah, it really doesn’t matter

Does it hurt?

Oh, I don’t give a damn


When I find myself falling and I hit the bottom

It only makes me laugh

Only makes me laugh

When I go down the hole and I hit the bottom

It only makes me laugh

Coming right back

‘Cause you can’t keep me down

Can’t keep me down

Oh, in the ground


Does it hurt?

Oh, it really doesn’t matter

Does it burn?

Oh, I don’t feel a thing

I don’t mind just a little pain

Ooh, oh, yeah

Whoa….


Remembering when I was a young man

How everything seemed to turn against me

I didn’t know a soul—it was an alien place

The sun was covered by a dark cloud

And though I tried, I couldn’t find a way to escape

The only way to go: straight down


I don’t know why I feel this way

I don’t know if it’s right or wrong

To laugh at misfortune

Darkness can never last too long…

When you laugh in its face


Thank you boys – You keep me going.

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